TV dinner {Breaking Bad}

breakfastpizza

I came to my Breaking Bad obsession late in the series, around season 4 or so. Way after all the hype had been built with massive critical and audience acclaim. But as any Breaking Bad fan knows, this is actually ideal because there’s nothing better than holing yourself up to a Netflix binge weekend with Walter White and Co. Each episode is so full of suspense, so agonizing with fear and turmoil and panic and… well, I hate to use this word but, DRAMA. Not the petty kind where you find yourself consoling one of your girlfriends as she bursts into tears over brunch, but the well-crafted, deliberately timed drama that can only come from good acting and fantastic writing.

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For those of you who have yet to come to the light (of society because seriously, how have you missed this??), we are now 2 episodes into the sixth and final season. Well technically, it’s a continuation of season 5 because they split the 16 episodes into two shorter seasons to prolong my state of constant physical distress. Regardless, it’s back and oh-HHH-hhhh boy. There are many theories as to what will progress as the finale soon approaches but honestly, I’m not a TV writer. If I were it’d be about much less exciting things like Why I’ve Stopped Separating My Colors and Whites in the Laundry or How to Avoid Eye Contact with Subway Rats, so I’ll leave this to Vince Gilligan.

As a testament to my fan devotion, however, I created a dish inspired by the series (also the first installment of my new culinary venture titled TV dinners). I spent a lot of time deciding what to make for y’all. The obvious choice was a dessert with ‘blue meth’ aka dyed sugar candy or some Los Pollos Hermanos fried chicken but c’mon, that’s for the novice fan. That’s when I remembered this little gem from season 3.

breakingbad_roofpizza

That’s right, ROOF PIZZA how could I have forgotten! As a a refresher, during season 3 our friend W.W. is having a bit of family trouble. It happens with meth dealers. Essentially he’s been kicked out of the house by his wife, (evil) Skyler and in an attempt to win some favor, Walt comes over with a huge pizza with the hopes of family bonding. Obviously, it doesn’t bode well for Walt (or the pizza).

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As my first TV dinner, this pizza is not your ordinary pizza. It’s a breakfast pizza. That’s right. Breakfast. Pizza. Because if there’s one thing the White family can agree upon, it’s their love of breakfast (especially Walt Jr. ). In the show, these breakfast scenes of family normalcy often take place after Walt’s all-night meth cooking sessions or Mexican border death matches, and really serve as a nice contrast to show just how messed up his life is.

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The only roof this pizza should hit however, is the roof of your mouth. It has all the things you’d find on the White’s breakfast table: eggs, coffee, and a little smoky smokiness from the bacon jam. So good yet soooo BAD…

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BreakingBad_JesseDancing

breakfast pizza
based on the Big Sur Bakery Cookbook
Makes 2 (12-inch) pizzas

  • ¾ cup lukewarm water
  • ½ teaspoon dry active yeast
  • 2 cups plus 2 tablespoons bread flour, plus more for dusting
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus additional for seasoning
  • Bacon Jam (recipe below)
  • ½ cup grated Parmesan
  • 2 cups grated mozzarella
  • 6 large eggs
  • freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 tablespoons minced flat-leaf parsley
  • 2 tablespoons minced chives
  • 2 scallions, thinly sliced
  • 1 shallot, minced

(1) The night before, prepare the dough: Place ¾ cup lukewarm water in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a dough hook. Sprinkle in the yeast, stir and let sit for 5 minutes.
(2) Add the flour and 1 teaspoon of salt and mix on low for 1 minute. Increase the speed to medium and mix for 2 minutes, then increase the speed to high and mix until a smooth dough forms, about 2 minutes more.
(3) Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface, divide into two equal pieces and form each half into a tight ball. Place on a large floured sheet pan, cover in plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.
(4) Two hours before baking, place the dough in a warm spot. While the dough rests, prepare the toppings for the pizza.
(5) Adjust the oven rack to the lowest position and set a pizza stone on it. Preheat the oven to 500 degrees, 30 minutes before you are ready to bake the pizza.
(6) Dip your hands and a ball of dough into the flour. On a lightly floured countertop, pat the dough into a disc with your fingertips, then drape the dough over your fists and carefully stretch it from beneath to form a 12-inch circle.
(7) Generously dust the surface of a pizza peel or large inverted sheet pan with flour and place the stretched dough on it. Sprinkle the dough with half of the Parmesan and mozzarella, making sure to leave a ½ inch margin around the edge. Put small dollops of the bacon jam on the dough. Crack 3 eggs over the top and season with salt and pepper.
(8) If using a pizza peel, shake the peel slightly to make sure the dough is not sticking. Carefully lift any sections that are sticking and sprinkle a bit more flour underneath, then slide the pizza directly onto the baking stone in one quick forward-and-back motion.
(9) Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, rotating after 5 minutes. When the crust is golden, the cheese is melted and the egg yolks are cooked, use the peel to transfer the pizza to a cutting board.
(10) Sprinkle half of the parsley, chives, scallions and shallot on top. Let cool for 2 minutes, slice and serve immediately. Prepare the second pizza in the same way.

bacon jam
makes about 1 cup
from The Delicious Life

  • ½ pound bacon
  • ½ medium onion, chopped
  • 4 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
  • ¼ cup packed brown sugar (substitute up to 2 tablespoons with maple syrup to maple bacon jam!)
  • ¼ cup brewed coffee

(1) In a large pot, cook bacon until just starting to brown and crisp at edges. Remove cooked bacon to paper towel-lined plate to cool and drain off grease. Pat with additional paper towels. When cool, chop the bacon into bit-size pieces.
(2) Pour off all but 1 tablespoon bacon fat from pot. Turn heat down to medium low. Add onions and garlic, and cook until onions are translucent. Add vinegar, brown sugar, and coffee. Bring to a boil. Add cooked chopped bacon.

If You Are Cooking on Stovetop:
(3) Turn down heat to the lowest setting and allow to simmer for about 1½ hours, stirring every few minutes, until most of the liquid has evaporated and what is left is syrupy. Do not leave the pot unattended because 1. that’s just not safe no matter what and 2. there is a lot of sugar from the onions and well, the sugar, so it can burn easily. 
If You Are Using a Crockpot/Slow Cooker: 
(3) Pour the contents of the pot into the crockpot. Cook on high for about 3 hours.)
[To make the breakfast pizza, STOP at this point. However, if you desire a smoother jam consistency, continue onto Step 4]

(4) Transfer the cooked bacon jam to a food processor. Pulse until you get the consistency of chunky jam. Bacon jam is sticky, sweet, slightly smoky, and a little bit “crunchy” from crisped parts of cooked bacon. Store covered in the refrigerator. I have no idea how long it keeps, but based on my recipe research, it seems like a few weeks. I doubt you will have any left after 3 days.

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2 thoughts on “TV dinner {Breaking Bad}

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